Last week a friend called me asking if I would do a quick diagnosis of his life as he put his current “x-ray imagery” in front of me. There were a couple obvious abnormalities that I was aware of during our conversation. First, he said that he felt exhausted most of the time and shared that the things he used to love doing, he now had little desire for. He then explained how he would continue to work when he got home, not being able to turn his “work mind” off. He realized that though he was surrounded by people day and night he was becoming more emotionally isolated, anger was becoming a frequent companion, and though circumstantially everything looked good with his marriage, family, surroundings and work, he felt only discouragement.
From what I could see, my friend suffered from heart fatigue. He had put major mileage on his life without checking his heart fluid level. The engine of his life, his heart, was about to seize. As Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” (NLT)
There wasn’t a thing that I said to him that he didn’t already know. He just felt like he couldn’t change his direction and speed. What came to me as we were talking was 2 Peter 2:19, “By what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved.” When we are overcome by something, it has gotten the best of us and we have yielded to it. We are familiar with the power of sin to enslave us, but are often unaware of the power of “good things” getting the best of us.
This was one of those conversations where I realized that I was talking to two people – one on each end of the phone. My friend’s story sounded uncomfortably familiar.
I have also been struggling to let go of my work responsibilities in the evenings and the weekends. I love what I do and what I do is in-line with who I am, but this relationship (me and my work) has started to feel unhealthy. My family tries to help me with this imbalance by telling me “work is over for the day” or for the weekend, but I had found myself sneaking away for brief moments with my work. I couldn’t sit still unless I was in my work. Like my friend, I felt like I couldn’t change direction or speed and there was a part of me (perhaps the best part of me) that was getting overtaken – my intimacy with God, my family and friends.
I recommended to my friend that he take time to fast from work for a while to break its unhealthy power over him – quickly admitting to him that I was prescribing this for myself as well. Fasting is such a powerful and necessary thing – whether it be from food, drink, shopping, media, talking, company, etc.
So, here I am in the middle of my “work-fast” writing this eLetter. I’m once again caught between the value of journaling and the need to fast from work. Oh well, it’s little-by-little I guess…
That we may be free in every way,
Gary
But isn’t the point of finding your heart and calling, and living in it – that you are not ‘working’ but truly ‘living’.
If your family is part of your calling and are living in it with you, who cares if you are writing a letter on the weekend or 9pm on a weekday, because it is not ‘work’ it is who you are. How do you not be who you are?
As long as you are not looking to find ‘life from your ‘job’ (calling), but God, then I say ‘LIVE’!
…just saying.
Rocco, you have stated the core point well, “as long as you are not looking to find life from your calling”. As Os Guinness said, “The more successful calling is the more vulnerable it will be to its tendency to undermine itself.” This is where we must be very cunning. Gary
I find myself sometimes not able to make it through the evening or weekend without checking my “crackberry” to see if someone has sent an email. Sometimes I want to respond just to make sure people know I’m always available and engaged. It’s been a struggle, but I try and check my motives whenever I am drawn back to work.
Thanks for the reminder to stay engaged in all the aspects of my life. I think I’ll “fast” from my blackberry for a while…
Chad, once again, you’ve come to the core issue, our motives. It’s all about why we are doing what we are doing…what we are wanting, seeking, desiring – heart level stuff. Gary
Gary – I’m sure every man can identify with this. I spent much of the past 9 years “connected” to work. The problem of mobile technology and working in the mobile technology industry makes disconnecting more complex. But after being laid off last year God has been teaching me the value of time and that I must protect my time with Him, my family and time for rest.
Peace -
Robert
Robert, I’d love to read about the things God has been showing/exposing/teaching you through what must be a very hard situation in your life. Way to hang in there with God and your heart! Gary
“though circumstantially everything looked good . . . my friend suffered from heart fatigue. He had put major mileage on his life without checking his heart fluid level.”
Wow, I think you just described the mid-life crisis, though I guess it can happen anytime. This is a great metaphor for how we get caught up in the momentum of life and end up somewhere unfulfilling. Are our good circumstances lulling us into a trance that keeps us from examining the heart?
Gary – Wow! Talk about a clear description of where I am “at” right now (and have been for some time).
Thanks so much for being so honest and for giving me something to counteract the draining addiction to work!
Bless you brother,
Robin.
I too am chained to work through mobile technology. It is somewhat of a requirement in my job as a litigation attorney and it is expected that I stay in touch. But, that can be physically turned off for a short time, anyway.
For me, the problem is that in my job as a litigation attorney, I am constantly thinking about cases and strategy. Most of the time, the good ideas come the more I think about a case. In fact, what helps me most as an attorney is constant scrutiny and analysis. I am not a particularly gifted writer or speaker, and what makes me effective as an attorney is analysis. I can’t shut work off mentally, because to do so would be not doing my best to do my job.
That is the conundrum I have faced during the last year or so when God grabbed my attention and refocused my Bible study. And, fortunately, at the same time, I found myself sitting in a Sunday School class when Mike McDade visited to tell us about this guy named Gary Barkalow…